


Discord Disaster

by Demigodsouleater



Category: Haikyuu!!, 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen, Hina and Deku are babey, Hinata and Midoriya are extra feral this time, I have no sense of humor sorry, I love skeletor and all but he's not cool in this fic sorry, I love them I swear, I swear I'm not high when I write this shit, M/M, Multi, So I Lied, This is just me being self indulgent, also there's All Might bashing, also we finally introduce parental units, and older sibling figures, big bro hawks grew on me so he's here now, chatfic, finally a ship tag, honestly, is that how you spell it???, listen, please, please don't hate Iida and Ochako, the beginning is gonna be trash, these two mfs grew on me, they aren't babey they are menaces to society, you'll see when he shows up, your favs are crackheads
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-05
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-02-24 15:54:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 10,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21680506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Demigodsouleater/pseuds/Demigodsouleater
Summary: Cousins Hinata Shouyo and Izuku Midoriya interact with their friends and cause chaos. That's literally it.This is really self indulgent and a way to make my day so I hope it makes yours too(Previous title: "My cousins are cooler than you")
Relationships: Ashido Mina/Bakugou Katsuki, It's a surprise
Comments: 48
Kudos: 342





	1. Discord but it's kinda not

**Author's Note:**

> Chat names! (For now)
> 
> Hinata: Sunshine shit  
> Kageyama: He drinks his milk  
> Yamaguchi: Gucci  
> Tsukishima: Saltydino  
> Yachi: Anxiety™  
> Midoriya: Sunshine bastard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of this mess

- _Sunshine shit_ has added _He drinks his milk_ , _Gucci_ , _Saltydino_ , and _Anxiety™_ to **_First year court crew_ **

**He drinks his milk** : Hinata wtf is this

**Sunshine shit:** A group chat

**Sunshine shit:** Duh

**Saltydino:** Who said I wanted to be a part of this?

**Gucci:** Aren’t you the one who gave him your number?

**Saltydino:** Reluctantly 

**Saltydino:** Stop exposing me

**Gucci:** No

**Saltydino:** Rude

**Gucci:** No u

**Saltydino:** You rite

**Gucci:** I know I am 

  
  


**_1:54am_ **

**Sunshine shit:** Can someone tell coach Ukai I won't be able to make it to practice today? 

**He drinks his milk:** What???

**Gucci:** Hinata?? Not at practice????

**Saltydino:** It's more likely than you think

**Sunshine shit:** shUT are you gonna do it or not

**Anxiety™ :** Boi it's like 2am

**Anxiety™ :** Please sleep

**Sunshine shit:** Yachi!!!

**Sunshine shit:** Where you been B?

**Anxiety™ :** Hina

**Anxiety™:** Sweetie 

**Anxiety™:** Sleep

**Sunshine shit:** But-

**Anxiety™:** S L E E P

**Sunshine shit** : Okay damb…

  
  


_**12:04pm** _

**He drinks his milk:** Hey…

**He drinks his milk:** Where's Hinata?

**Gucci:** ??

**Saltydino:** Wdym

**He drinks his milk:** I haven't seen him since our class before lunch???

**He drinks his milk:** He just said 'Y'all ugly' and poofed away ya know

**Gucci:** Now that you mention it…

**Gucci:** Didn't he say he wouldn't make it to practice?

**Saltydino:** Well, if anything happens, he'll tell us soon

**Saltydino:** He always does

_**2:50pm** _

**Saltydino:** Ok maybe he doesn't

**Gucci:** HINATA!!

**Gucci:** WHERE ARE YOU?!?

**He drinks his milk:** Is it weird that i'm worried? 

**Saltydino:** No???

**Gucci:** HINA!!!!

**Anxiety™:** Guys…..

**Gucci:** WHERE IS THE SUNSHINE BOI?!

**He drinks his milk:** Was he kidnapped?

**Saltydino:** No you idiot

**He drinks his milk:** HoW wOuLD yOu knOW?!

**Saltydino:** Someone would've reported it smartass

**Anxiety™:** Guys!

**He drinks his milk:** I'm not a smartass!

**Saltydino:** Ain't that the truth

**He drinks his milk:** Shut up!

**Gucci:** I can't believe Hinata is fucking dead

**He drinks his milk:** You overgrown tarantula! 

**Saltydino:** …

**Saltydino:** What a weak ass insult

**He drinks his milk:** Meet me in the fucking pit

**Saltydino:** Bet money bitch

**Anxiety™** : GUYS!!!!!

**Gucci:** Yes Yachi?

**Anxiety™** : You guys are dumb

**Saltydino:** ???

**Anxiety™:** I've been trying to tell you guys

**Anxiety™:** Hinata had to leave early

**Anxiety™:** Although he didn't exactly say why

**He drinks his milk** : So...he didn't get kidnapped…

**Saltydino:** Kageyama you ignorant slut

_**5:33pm** _

**Sunshine shit:** Hey guys!!

**Sunshine shit:** Sorry I disappeared on you

**Gucci:** HINATA YOU'RE BACK!!

**He drinks his milk:** I thought you died

**Saltydino:** Where'd you go?

**Anxiety™:** Weren't you only supposed to miss practice?

**Sunshine shit:** Ah...about that…

**Sunshine shit:** I had some family issues

**Sunshine shit:** But don't worry! It's nothing too bad! No one died or anything 

**Anxiety™:** Oh thank jeez-

**Gucci:** I'm glad it's nothing too serious!

**Saltydino:** But how does that tie into you not showing up for practice 

**Sunshine shit:** Well you see

**Sunshine shit:** That's something for me to know and you to never find out

**Saltydino:** Wait- 

**Sunshine shit:** ;)

**Sunshine shit:** Oh!

**Sunshine shit:** Do you guys wanna meet my cousin???

**Gucci:** Sure!

**He drinks his milk:** Down

**Saltydino:** Whatever

**Anxiety™:** Of course!

**Sunshine shit:** Bet

- _Sunshine shit_ has added _Sunshine bastard_ to **_First year court_ **-

**Sunshine shit:** Couses!

**Sunshine bastard:** Couses!!!

**Sunshine shit:** Meet my friends!!!!

**Sunshine bastard:** What friends?

**Saltydino:** PFFFT

**He drinks his milk** : LMAO

**Gucci:** Damn

**Anxiety™:** Ouch

**Sunshine shit:** Why,,,

**Sunshine shit** : Why you do dis??

**Sunshine bastard:** Suffer

**Sunshine shit:** Izuuuuu

**Sunshine bastard:** Shouuuuu

**Sunshine shit:** Say hello!

**Sunshine bastard:** pfft fine fine

**Sunshine bastard:** Hey hoes, I'm Midoriya Izuku. Sunshine shit here is my cousin!

**Sunshine shit:** I thought you were Sunshine shit

**Sunshine bastard:** No you uncultured swineball

**Sunshine bastard:** Have you read my name?

**Sunshine shit:** Huh, suddenly I can't read

**Anxiety™:** Hello Midoriya!!

**Sunshine bastard:** Oh jeez your name is a mood

**Sunshine bastard:** Hi! Who are you?

**Anxiety™:** I'm Yachi!

**Sunshine bastard:** Sweet

**Gucci:** I'm Yamaguchi by the way

**Sunshine bastard:** Are you the one with freckles?

**Gucci:** ...yes?

**Sunshine bastard:** Triplets ÛwÛ

**Gucci:** *gasp*

**Gucci:** UwU

**Saltydino:** Disgusting 

**Gucci:** Sorry Tsukki

**Saltydino:** No the hell you aren't 

**Gucci:** I'm glad you know this

**Sunshine bastard:** Sksksksksksk Yamaguchi is my favorite now

**Sunshine bastard:** Sorry Shou you've been demoted 

**Sunshine shit:** Betrayal 

**Sunshine bastard:** Hold on a damn minute,,,

**Sunshine bastard:** Who's Dino?

**Saltydino:** Tsukishima

**Sunshine bastard:** The megane? 

**Saltydino:** Blocked

**Gucci:** Pffft

**Gucci:** Friendship ended with Tsukki, Midoriya is my only friend now

**Sunshine bastard:** Hell yeah

**Gucci:** UwU

**Sunshine bastard:** UwU

**Sunshine shit:** This was a mistake 


	2. Sorry Izu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's only chapter 2 and I already fucked up Izuku...yay

**_10:41am_ **

**Sunshine bastard:** So...I just did a bad thing

**Sunshine shit:** A bad thing?

**Anxiety™** : Do you regret the thing you did?

**Sunshine bastard:** D,,,don't fucking TikTok me right now i'm having a c r i s i s

**Anxiety™:** Why?

**Sunshine bastard:** I may or may not have made my homeroom teacher so mad he threatened to expel me, then sent me home?

**Sunshine bastard:** Like come on man we were learning about European heros i'm liVID

**Sunshine shit:** Wait…

**Sunshine shit:** He sent you home? 

**Sunshine bastard:** Yep

**Sunshine shit:** Where are you right now?????

**Sunshine bastard:** ….waiting outside my apartment building….

**Sunshine shit:** Is she home?

**Sunshine bastard:** Most likely. I'm pretty sure Aizawa or Yamada called her. Imma try and stall as long as I can

**Sunshine shit:** Crap

**Sunshine shit:** Izu, I gotta go

**Sunshine shit:** Tell me when you make it inside, yeah?

**Sunshine bastard:** Will do

**_9:27pm_ **

**Saltydino:** Man...Ukai and Daichi did n o t lay off today huh? 

**He drinks his milk:** You can say that shit again

**Gucci:** It was absolutely b r u t a l

**Anxiety™:** Just watching you guys was painful

**Sunshine shit:** I passed out as soon as I got home :(

**He drinks his milk:** Rt if practice made you want to die

**Sunshine shit:** rt

**Gucci:** rt

**Saltydino:** rt

**Anxiety™:** rt

**Gucci:** Yachi you didn't evendjdkdj-

**Anxiety™:** Leave me aloNE this is bullying 

**Gucci:** It can't be bullying if it's factual hoe

**Anxiety™:** shUT

**Sunshine shit:** Hhhhhh speaking of not doing anything

**Sunshine shit:** Has anyone heard from my cousin?

**Gucci:** Nope

**He drinks his milk:** Nah

**Sunshine shit:** Weird...brb i'm gonna check on him

**_{Jump machine broke → Bone machine broke}_ **

**Jump machine broke:** Izuku? You alright? You never texted me….

**Jump machine broke:** Izu?

**Jump machine broke:** Zuku??

**Jump machine broke:** Izuku I swear

**Jump machine broke:** This isn't funny

**Bone machine broke:** Shou

**Jump machine broke:** IZU!!!!

**Jump machine broke:** I was so worried!!

**Bone machine broke:** Shou i need hepl

**Jump machine broke:** What? What happened?

**Bone machine broke:** cna you come g et mw?

**Jump machine broke:** Of course. Where are you? 

_~Bone machine broke has sent their location~_

**Jump machine broke:** Mom and I are on our way

**Jump machine broke:** Please be safe….

**_First year court_ **

**_10:52pm_ **

**He drinks his milk:** Hinata

**He drinks his milk:** Where tf did you go?

**Sunshine shit:** Sorry, something happened 

**Sunshine shit:** I'm at the hospital rn

**He drinks his milk:** WHAT?!

**Saltydino:** Holy shit 

**Anxiety™:** Are you okay?!

**Sunshine shit:** I'm fine….It's about Izuku

**Gucci:** What happened if you don't mind me asking?

**Sunshine shit:** Well…

**Sunshine shit:** You remember how earlier I went to check up on my cousin? After awhile he finally texted back asking me to come pick him up. I was already assuming what happened so I told him Mom and I would come get him. When I asked him for his location, he just sends it. No words about where exactly he is. He couldn't even type correctly. Also his location was in the middle of a fucking park. Now….this is nowhere near the weirdest place i've had to get him from, but it's super concerning. When we finally get there he's unconscious on a bench. Blood pooling under him. He looked,, horrible. His clothes were torn and he was bleeding from so many places. The entire ride here we tried to wake him up but he wouldn't budge….I've never seen him this bad

**Sunshine shit:** I have to go. One of the doctors came back to tell us about his condition. 

**Anxiety™:** I hope Midoriya is okay...it must be scary for this to happen

**Gucci:** Yeah

**Gucci:** Please update us when you can!

**Anxiety™:** And tell Midoriya we wish the best for him!!

**_12:37am_ **

**Sunshine shit:** So we're finally taking Izuku home with us

**Sunshine shit:** And i'm fucking livid

**He drinks his milk:** Why?

**Sunshine shit:** The doctors told us what they suspect about why he was so injured. They can't say it's true or not until they get an official word from Izu

**Sunshine shit:** Who by the way-

**Sunshine shit:** Went back to sleep. He woke up for a bit but once we got into the car he was out like a fucking light

**He drinks his milk:** What were his injuries? 

**Sunshine shit:** I….I don't think I can say them. I don't want to out his business like that

**He drinks his milk:** That's understandable. Do you...wanna talk about what happened?

**_{Jump machine broke → Set machine broke}_ **

**Jump machine broke:** Tobi…..

**Jump machine broke:** He's our age….i'm only a bit older than him Tobio oh god 

**Set machine broke:** Who..who did this to him?

**Jump machine broke:** …..We don't know. He wouldn't tell us. I have a theory though and if it's true I don't think I can handle it

**Set machine broke:** Hey, calm down okay? I know you're worried and you just got out but...Midoriya needs you right now. It wouldn't be very reassuring if his older cousin is panicking 

**Jump machine broke:** Yeah….you're right

**Jump machine broke:** Thanks Tobi...I think I needed that

**Set machine broke:** Don't worry. No need to thank me either 

**Set machine broke:** Get some sleep. I'll talk to you tomorrow, yeah?

**Jump machine broke:** Yeah. Talk to you later

  
  


**_First year court_ **

**_7:20am_ **

**Sunshine shit:** GUYS

**Sunshine shit:** IZU IS AWAAAAAAAKE!!!!

**Anxiety™:** Yay! Is he feeling better?

**Sunshine shit:** Yep! He says thanks for worrying about him

**Anxiety™:** It's no problem!

**Gucci:** I'm glad he's okay 

**Sunshine shit:** As am I! 

**Sunshine shit:** Look at this!!!!

**Sunshine shit:** _DekuandNatsu.image_

_(A photo of Natsu and Izuku sitting on the couch. They're mid laugh, something Izuku had said causing the wide grins on their faces. Izuku's left arm is in a sling and there's bandages on his head. A few bandaids on his cheeks cover smaller cuts while bruises can be seen on his face and arm)_

**Anxiety™:** My,,,,My heart,,,

**Anxiety™:** I've been blessed

**Gucci:** My acne is cleared and ny crops are flourishing 

**Sunshine shit:** I lov,,,they

**Sunshine shit:** Oh! I gotta go! I'm apparently making breakfast 

**Sunshine shit:** I'll see you at practice! 

**Gucci:** Wait-

**Gucci:** But not school??

**Gucci:** Hinata?????

_**12:06am** _

**Sunshine shit** : Question

**Sunshine shit:** Would you guys mind if I brought Izuku with me to practice?

**Gucci:** I don't mind

**He drinks his milk:** Sure

**Saltydino:** Whatever

**Anxiety™:** Of course not!!!

**Sunshine shit:** Great! He really wants to meet you guys

**Anxiety™:** I wanna meet him too! 

**He drinks his milk:** Does he know anything about volleyball?

**Sunshine shit:** Yes! I taught him some things!

**Sunshine shit:** It's too bad he can't play….

**Anxiety™:** Kiyoko and I can sit with him!

**Sunshine shit:** Thanks!! Were gonna leave a bit before practice starts so we'll see you later!

**Anxiety™:** See you!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be normal fic format because,,,,,the team meeting Deku is gonna be so great to write


	3. Aight imma head out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I,,,,I don't know what to say really-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chat names!  
> Sunshine bastard > Izu  
> Sunshine shit > Hina  
> He drinks his milk > Kage  
> Saltydino >Tsukki  
> Anxiety > Yachi  
> Gucci > Yama  
> Shaq's Wet dream > Todo  
> Bakubitch > Baku  
> Gravity's pimp > Ocha  
> Kermit's bitch > Tsu  
> I lost my speed > Iida  
> I shot me cock off > Kami  
> I'm cockless > Sero  
> I am the cock > Kiri  
> I'm calling God > Mina  
> I am God, hoe > Shin

**Gucci:** Breaking news

**Gucci:** I love Midoriya Izuku 

**Gucci:** Sorry Hinata he's mine 

**Sunshine bastard:** Guess i'm getting taken away

**Sunshine shit:** If you don't come home Natsu will cry

**Sunshine bastard:** Nevermind i'm going home

**Sunshine shit:** Thought so >:)

**Gucci:** My disappointment is immeasurable and my night is ruined 

**Sunshine bastard:** I'm sowwy bby ｡ﾟ･（>﹏<）･ﾟ｡

**Gucci:** It oki I lov u babes <3

**Sunshine bastard:** <3 <3 <3 

**Saltydino:** Disg u s t

**Gucci:** You're just mad Izu's my new best friend

**Saltydino:** False

**Sunshine bastard:** Don't worry Tsu

**Sunshine bastard:** I lov u too

**Saltydino:** Shut

**Sunshine bastard:** True love right here folks :')

**_9:15pm_ **

**Anxiety™:** I forgot to ask this earlier but...Is Izu living with Hinata? 

**Sunshine shit:** yes

**Sunshine bastard:** Old fam? Who dat?

**Sunshine bastard** : I only know of my orange twin, my baby sis, and my mom who makes bomb ass waffles

**He drinks his milk:** That's a big ass mood

**Sunshine bastard:** You can say it's a…

**Sunshine bastard:** B' o o d

**Sunshine shit:** Get the fuck out of my house

**Sunshine bastard** : Uno reverse 

**Sunshine shit:** Suck my left toe

**Sunshine shit:** You'd like that wouldn't youdndjdidhdb

**Gucci:** I-

**Gucci:** Izu? 

**Gucci:** Oh my fucking god he fucking dead

**He drinks his milk:** Shou i'm calling the police

**Sunshine shit:** I'M NOT GOING BACK TO JAIL

**He drinks his milk:** Requesting backup we got a runner

**Sunshine bastard:** Me, as a ghost: Kick his ass

**Anxiety™:** What-

**He drinks his milk:** Put your hands in the air

**Sunshine shit:** It's okay

**Sunshine shit:** I got that card

**Sunshine shit:** _getoutofjailfree.image_

**He drinks his milk:** SHIT

**Saltydino:** I hope you both land in jail

**Sunshine bastard:** Tsu is 69 confirmed 

**Saltydino:** Bitch-

**Sunshine bastard:** ;)

**Saltydino:** Time to commit murder

**Sunshine bastard:** I'm a bad bitch you can't kill me

**Saltydino:** _pokemon-gun.image_

**Sunshine bastard:** _sweats.gif_

**Sunshine shit** : That what you deserve asshat

**Sunshine bastard:** I'm telling Natsu

**Sunshine shit:** Wait no-

**Sunshine bastard:** We're gonna kick your ass

**Sunshine shit:** Goodbye world

**Anxiety _™_ :** I'll miss you Hina

**He drinks his milk:** I'll put chicken nuggets and apple juice on your grave 

**Gucci:** But….Natsu and Izu are both small??

**Sunshine bastard:** We're sitting on him

**Saltydino:** And what's that going to do?

**Sunshine shit:** Suck my left nut Tsu

**Saltydino:** I mean if that's what you want- 

**Sunshine bastard:** Oh he horny honry

**Gucci:** HONRY I'M-

**Anxiety _™_ :** _horny-be-gone.image_

**He drinks his milk:** Tsukishima being horny on main?

**He drinks his milk:** Disappointed but not surprised 

**Sunshine shit:** _yeahwehornykeepscrolling.image_

**Saltydino:** That's it i'm blocking all of you

  
  
  
  


**_Tell Dad Baku ate my homework_ **

**_10:26pm_ **

**I shot me cock off:** If Aizawa don't let me out of detention imma go feral. No cap

**I am the cock:** Wrow

**I'm cockless:** Go crazy go stupid

**Gravity's pimp:** I just-

**Gravity's pimp:** Bro just sneak out it's not that hard

**I shot me cock off:** Oh shit you right

**I lost my speed:** Kaminari, normally I'd be against this…

**I shot me cock off:** Don't worry he's asleep

**I lost my speed:** Oh then carry on

**Shaq's wet dream:** Iida what happened to you-

**I lost my speed:** Villians

**Shaq's wet dream:** Understandable have a nice night 

**Bakubitch:** Where the fuck is Deku?

**Shaq's wet dream:** Sucking my dick obv-

**Shaq's wet dream:** Nah jk I haven't seen him

**Gravity's pimp:** Shouto no-

**Kermit's bitch:** I haven't seen him either

**I lost my speed:** Midoriya is missing?

**Gravity's pimp:** I thought he was in his room???

**Bakubitch:** …

**Bakubitch:** Say sike right now

**I am God, hoe:** My Mido senses are tingling

**I am God, hoe:** What happened 

**Bakubitch:** Aizawa jr.

**Bakubitch:** Where's Deku

**I am God, hoe:** He hasn't come back??

**Bakubitch:** No, at least I don't think so

**Gravity's pimp:** What do you mean??

**Bakubitch:** For fucks sake

**Kermit's bitch:** Is this about what happened a few days ago

**I lost my speed:** Okay wait

**I lost my speed:** Bakugou please explain what happened?

**Bakubitch:** Well if you cucks weren't too busy kissing All Might's ass you would've noticed

**Bakubitch:** Izuku hasn't come back to UA in over three days

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there was supposed to be a dialog chapter but my laptop deleted the entire thing. So i'm just going to post my pre-written chapters. When I get the inspiration i'll post the dialog ones. Sorry for the inconvenience!


	4. America eggsplain?????

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It the bois. Finding tea

**_First year court_ **

**_12:37am_ **

**Sunshine bastard** : And that's why Shou never lets me use the lighter by myself anymore

**Anxiety™** : Eye-

**Saltydino** : How are you not dead

**Sunshine bastard** : I live off of spite and katsudon

**Sunshine shit** : This i can confirm

**Sunshine shit** : Oh btw mum is making katsu tonight 

**Sunshine bastard** : REALLY DKDJDJDJ

**He drinks his milk** : Me when have milk

**Sunshine shit** : Blocked

**Sunshine bastard** : My crops have flourished and my injuries are healed

**Gucci** : Izu is actually me 

**_Tell Dad Baku ate my homework_ **

**_2:19am_ **

**I am God, hoe** : So...Dad hasn't heard from Midoriya

**I am God, hoe** : Have you guys tried to talk to him? 

**Bakubitch** : Not to him specifically yet but I talked to my old hag

**Gravity's pimp** : I didn't even realize he was gone…

**I lost my speed** : Don't worry Ochako, he's probably fine!

**Bakubitch** : I'm trying to get ahold of him now

**_{Lord Explosion → Mindfuck}_ **

**Lord Explosion** : So the hag said she hasn't seen him personally

**Lord Explosion** : But….she heard something bad

**Mindfuck** : How bad are we talking?

**Lord Explosion** : The police got involved

**Mindfuck** : Shit

**Lord Explosion** : Mom hasn't heard from Auntie Inko or Uncle Hisashi

**Lord Explosion** : But we don't hear much from him anyway

**Mindfuck** : Why's that?

**Lord Explosion** : Divorce 

**Mindfuck** : Gotcha

**Mindfuck** : Wait, doesn't Midoriya talk about his aunt a lot? On his dad's side I'm pretty sure?

**Mindfuck** : Why not talk to her

**Lord Explosion** : Holy fuck you're right

**Mindfuck** : I know I am :)

**Lord Explosion** : Don't get cocky asshole

**Mindfuck** : :(

**_12:15pm_ **

**Lord Explosion** : Oi, mind bastard

**Mindfuck** : Yes your angry one?

**Lord Explosion** : My mom spoke to Deku's aunt

**Mindfuck** : Oh??? What did she say?

**Lord Explosion** : …

**Lord Explosion** : I don't think Deku is coming back to UA

**Mindfuck** : What?!

**Mindfuck** : Bakugou what happened?!

**Lord Explosion** : The Hag told me his aunt had to take him to the hospital a few days ago

**Lord Explosion** : She hasn't told me why exactly, but i have a feeling I know why

**Mindfuck** : Which is….?

**Lord Explosion** : I can't say. Not unless Deku says so

**Mindfuck** : What do you mean??

**Mindfuck** : Baku?

**Mindfuck** : You son of a bitch-

**_First year court_ **

**_1:07pm_ **

**Sunshine shit** : It's the weekend!!

**Sunshine bastard** : You know what that means!

**Anxiety™** **:** Cry

**Sunshine shit** : No-

**Sunshine bastard** : Maybe

**Gucci** : Mood

**Sunshine shit** : You guys are sad

**Sunshine bastard** : How'd you know?

**He drinks his milk** : A lot of common sense 

**Saltydino** : I thought you didn't have any of that

**He drinks his milk** : _cryingcat.jpeg_

**Sunshine bastard** : I got you bby

**Sunshine bastard** : _doctorphilm &mgun.jpeg _

**Sunshine bastard** : Hands up bitch

**He drinks his milk** : My saviour 

**Gucci** : I hate this family 

**Saltydino** : That's my line

**Gucci** : Sorry Tsukki

**Saltydino** : Hoe

**_3:24_ **

**Sunshine bastard** : HELP KDJSBSHSOEUSB

**Gucci** : What is it Izu?

**He drinks his milk** : ???

**Sunshine bastard** : I FORGOT THAT I HAD A FRIEND AT MY OLD SCHOOL AND THEY TEXTED ME

**Saltydino** : How do you forget a whole group of people

**Sunshine bastard** : First. Thanks for assuming there's more

**Sunshine bastard** : Second. I'm literally the worst at remembering things sometimes

**Sunshine shit** : You mf liar i've heard you quote an entire All Might speech word for fucking word get out of my house

**Sunshine bastard** : S o m e t i m e s

**Sunshine shit** : Sometimes my ass

**Sunshine shit** : Go respond to your friend

**Sunshine bastard** : Daddy yes, Daddy!

**Sunshine shit** : I'm taking your spine away

**Sunshine bastard** : Kinky

**_Sunshine shit_** : Literally die

**_{Bone machine broke → Lord Explosion}_ **

**Lord Explosion** : Deku

**Lord Explosion** : Where the hell have you been

**Bone machine broke** : Heyyy Kacchan

**Bone machine broke** : I've been….chillin

**Lord Explosion** : Don't lie to me. You've been gone for days

**Bone machine broke** : …

**Bone machine broke** : You're alone right?

**Lord Explosion** : Aizawa took the extras shopping. I'm 'visiting' the old hag. On the train right now

**Bone machine broke** : Wait, if you're not seeing Auntie...where are you going?

**Lord Explosion** : To see my dumbass little brother obviously. The Hag got your Aunt's address for me

**Bone machine broke** : JSHSBSISIEHWO

**Bone machine broke** : KACCHAN 

**Bone machine broke** : You don't have to come!!

**Bone machine broke** : I'm fine! Really!

**Lord Explosion** : She put you in the hospital Izuku

**Bone machine broke** : It isn't that bad…

**Lord Explosion** : It's not like what you did..it's different. It's h e r

**Bone machine broke** : I know I know

**Bone machine broke** : How much longer until you get here? I'm assuming Auntie knows you're coming

**Lord Explosion** : I just got off the train. I'm gonna call a ride

**Bone machine broke** : Alright!!!!

**_First year court_ **

**_2:35_ **

**Sunshine bastard** : Pray for me I may get yoted today

**Gucci** : ??? Wym?

**Sunshine bastard** : My best friend is coming

**Sunshine bastard** : He realized why i've been gone 

**Gucci** : Oof-

**Sunshine shit** : Wait

**Sunshine shit** : The blond one??

**Saltydino** : I swear if you're talking about me-

**Sunshine shit** : No megane

**Sunshine bastard** : Yep! It's Kacchan

**Sunshine shit** : !!!

**Sunshine bastard** : I know?? I'm gonna cry when he shows up no cap

**Sunshine shit** : You always cry

**Sunshine bastard** : Shut up-

**Sunshine bastard** : OH FUCK HE'S OUTSIDE GOTTA BLAST

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm soft for platonic BakuDeku don't even @ me i'll throw hands


	5. Bakudeku but it's platonic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's short and sweet so at least i'm posting something

**_Tell Dad Baku ate my homework_ **

**_4:00_ **

**Bakubitch** : _a selfie of Bakugou and Midoriya on a couch. They seemed to be in the middle of watching a video or something, and a tuft of Orange can be seen in the bottom right corner_

**Bakubitch** : Nerd acquired 

**Gravity's Pimp** : UZTXITTDTTDY

**I shot me cock off** : IS THAT REALLY HIM?!

**I lost my speed** : Is he alright???

**Shaq’s wet dream** : Who did it I just wanna talk

**I am God, Hoe** : I would also like to talk

**I’m calling God** : Screw talking I’m fuckin’ throwing hands

**I am the cock** : Where are you guys??

**Bakubitch** : I’m at his Aunt’s house. Yes, he’s alright. No, you can’t fucking come over

**I shot my cock off** : Why not :(((

**Bakubitch** : It’s,,,personal

**Shaq’s wet dream** : What do you mean personal?

**Bakubitch** : It’s fucking personal alright!

**Bakubitch** : Damn

**Gravity’s pimp** : We’re worried! How come you get to see him and we don’t??

**Bakubitch** : That sounds like a you problem

**I am the cock** : Cold blooded-

**Shaq’s wet dream** : That’s me actually

**I’m cockless** : Todoroki memeing? Blasphemy

**Shaq’s wet dream** : Shut your whore mouth Sero

**I am the cock** : Damb

**Bakubitch** : Back to the situation at hand

**Bakubitch** : Deku can’t return to UA anymore. He’s already transferred to a new school. 

**I am god, hoe** : Say sike right now

**Gravity’s pimp** : You’re lying. This is a joke

**Gravity’s pimp** : …...please tell me it’s a joke

**Bakubitch** : Would I joke about this shit?

**Bakubitch** : I tried to convince him to stay at my place, but he refused. Apparently carrot top had already introduced the nerd to his friends and his mom had transferred him last week.

**I’m cockless** : Carrot top? 

**Bakubitch** : Oh yeah. You don't know him

**Bakubitch** : He's Deku's cousin

**Bakubitch** has sent a video

[ **_The camera is pointed to Izuku, who's glaring ahead at a tv._ **

**Baku: "Oi Brat. Look at me"**

**Deku, turning around: "I will eradicate your existence if you make me lose my first place"**

**Hinata, snickering next to Izuku: "Guess what. You're last now!"**

**Deku: "What do you me-YOU BITCH YOU HIT ME WITH A BLUE SHELL!-"** ]

**I shot my cock off** : Are you guys playing Mario kart???

**Bakubitch** : Yee

**Gravity's pimp** : So orange dude is Deku's cousin??

**Shaq's wet dream** : They kinda look alike :zoomeyes:

**I’m cockless** : Twins????

**Kermit’s bitch** : Wrow

**Bakubitch** : They might as well be. They are almost the same person. 

**Shaq's wet dream** : The world having two Midoriyas is now officially the world I want to live in. 

**I lost my speed** : My anxiety has cleared 

**Gravity's pimp** : My depression was snatched 

**I am god, hoe** : I don't wanna die lmao

**Bakubitch** : I- 

**Bakubitch** : 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT TOOK ME FUCKING FOREVER TO ADD THE FUCKING IMAGE I'M SO UPSET
> 
> But i did it!! Hopefully I can start using more images now! Sorry for the chapter being short. The way this gic might go is shorter chapters with more updates, ir longer chapters with more space between updates. Which would you prefer?


	6. Reigen Arataka's pubic lice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wrote the beginning of this half asleep and I got the chapter title from a different fic I read-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I changed the format a little bit!! And now i can add images!! Get ready y'all >:)

**_First year court_ **

**_11:07am_ **

**Sunshine shit:** So you guys know how the blonde one came over yesterday??

**Saltydino:** That gave me whiplash and I wasn't even there

**Sunshine bastard:** Bsbsjz as if we were talking about you lmao 

**Saltydino:**

**Gucci:** Lmao Tsukki you actually feel pain???

**Saltydino:** I hate this song

**Sunshine bastard:** Tf you mean i'm viben man  **:damnce:**

**Sunshine shit:** Aye shut up i'm trying to speak 

**Saltydino:** And?? 

**Saltydino:** I wanted dinosaur chicken nuggets for breakfast. We don't get what we want

**Sunshine bastard:** EYE-

**Sunshine bastard:** AN ACTUAL CHILD

**Sunshine shit:** Tsukki I will eat your fucking knuckles

**Saltydino:** Bold of you to assume you can reach them

**He drinks his milk:**

**Sunshine bastard:** DBEHDGSG IM PISSING MYSELF 

**Gucci :** Weird kink but okay

**Sunshine bastard:** BRRHRH NOOOO

**Sunshine bastard:** I TRUSTED YOU  **:crie:**

**Sunshine shit:** Tsukishima open your door

**Saltydino:** Why?

**Sunshine shit:** Look outside

**Saltydino:** UFYDYDCU GO HOME HINATA

**Sunshine shit:** FIGHT ME 

**Saltydino:** [ _ Sent an image of Hinata from through a window. He's standing in front of Tsukishima's door. He looks between ready to cut a bitch but also like he's about to hack out a lung trying to hold back his laughter _ ]

**Saltydino:** **_@Sunshine bastard_** PLEASE COME COLLECT YOUR CLOWN 

**Sunshine bastard:** Sorry can't. I'm watching Natsu lol

**Saltydino:** I don't know if this is betrayal or karma and I hate it

**Sunshine shit:** Suffer

**Sunshine shit:** Also seriously open the fucking door it's cold as shit

**Saltydino:** F i n e 

  
  


**_Tell dad Baku ate my homework_ **

**_1:17am_ **

  
  


**I lost my speed:** Now normally i'm not one to initiate chats in class but

**I lost my speed :** I deadass miss Midoriya 

**Gravity's pimp:** JDBDDKJD IIDA-

**I'm calling god:** If that wasn't a mf mood

**I'm cockles:** Can we get an F in the chat  **:sadwoah:**

**I shot my cock off:** F

**Kermit's bitch:** F

**Gravity's pimp:** F 

**I am the cock:** F 

_**Shaq's wet dream:** _ F

**I am god, hoe:** F

**I lost my speed:** F

**Bakubitch:** F

**I'm calling god:** F 

**I'm cockless:** Holy fuck we actually got everyone to do it 

**I'm calling god:**

**I am god, hoe:** Kdbdkdjs even Bakugou did it i'm  **:shook:**

**Bakubitch:** If you dibshits miss him so much why isn't he in the chat, huh? 

**Shaq's wet dream:** I-

**Gravity's pimp:** Wait why isn't he in the chat???

**I lost my speed:** He told me he didn't have a discord :(

** Bakubitch: ** LMAOOOOOOO 

**I am god, hoe:** Iida…..Midoriya lied to you….

**I lost my speed:**

**I lost my speed:**

**Kermit's bitch:** hdudhdjdud I can't-

**Bakubitch:** I'll add him. You should probably change your stupid ass names  **@I shot my cock off @I'm cockless @I am the cock**

**I am the cock:** Damn okay :(

_ -'I am the cock' has changed their name to 'The hardest boi'- _

_ -'I shot my cock off' has changed their name to 'Biggest brain'- _

_ -'I'm cockless' has changed their name to 'Ceo of FT'- _

**Biggest brain:** Is this better??

**Bakubitch:** I guess….

_ -Bakubitch _ has added  _ Bone machine broke _ to  **Tell dad Baku ate my homework** -

**Bone machine broke:** I-

**Bone machine broke:**

**Bakubitch:** HSVDJXJXSH BASTARD I THOUGHT YOU DELETED THAT 

**Bone machine broke:** Lmao why would I ever do that

**Bakubitch:** I Will Destroy Your Bloodline :)

**Bone machine broke:** Kinky

**Shaq's wet dream:** Eye-

**Gravity's pimp:** D-Deku?!

**Bone machine broke:** Hdhdhdididhdhdj wait-

**Bone machine broke:** WHERE AM I?!

**I am god, hoe:** My sex dungeon 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So i already went back and fixed up some stuff on other chapters, except one or two since I had to go out and shop so I don't starve. If you have any suggestions on things I can write about or a character you want just lemme know!! Lov u ♡(ŐωŐ人)


	7. Deku's return I guess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After waiting so long for a chapter....it's still garbage

**_Tell dad Baku ate my homework_ **

_**4:45pm** _

  
  
  
  


**Bone machine broke** : Hdkdjdv I swear to All Might What is this-

**Bakubitch** : Stupid ass it's your friends 

**Bone machine broke** : Lmao I have those??

**Gravity's pimp** : I- 

**Shaq's wet dream** : Blocked and reported

**I am God,hoe** : I have been abandoned Iida please hold me

**Bakubitch** : LMAO WOW STUPID ASS LOOK WHAT YOU DID 

**Bone machine broke** : Yo….

**Bone machine broke** : From the bottom of my heart….My bad 

**Shaq's wet dream** : It's too late 

**I am God, hoe** : Heart been broke so many times </3

**Bone machine broke** : nooOOO BABE I'M SORRY :'( 

**I am God, hoe** : B-Babe???

**Bakubitch** : Huh-

**Bone machine broke** : Suddenly I have no idea how to read japanese. What a shame 

**Bakubitch** : HUH-

**Ceo of FT** : I cannot stand these putas

  
  
  


_**7:37pm** _

  
  


**Bone machine broke** **:** Okay now that my life is been threatened by an explosion boy

**Bone machine broke** **:** I have come to say

**Bone machine broke** **:** Stan Stray Kids <3

**Bakubitch** **:** Deku you stupid bitch 

  
  


_ -Bone machine broke has changed their name to Hero brain rot-  _

  
  


**Hero brain rot** **:** What can I say? Haters wanna be me 

**Bakubitch** **:** The only thing I wanna do is beat your ass 

**Hero brain rot** **:** Do it bitch

_**Bakubitch** _ **:** I'm literally sitting next to you 

**Hero brain rot** **:** Anyways

**Hero brain rot** : How has hero school been (っ﹏-))

**Bakubitch** : Shitty <3

_**Hero brain rot** _ : YOU FINALLY DID THE HEART THING YESSS

**Bakubitch** : WAIT NO FUCK

  
  


_**First year court** _

  
  


**Sunshine bastard** :  _ <3screenshot.image  _

**Sunshine bastard** : GUYS GUYS I GOT KACCHAN TO DO THE <3 

**Sunshine shit** : LMAOOOO FINALLY 

**Gucci** : Periodt

**Saltydino** : Yamaguci never say that again

**Sunshine shit** : Glad to see you doing the lords work 

  
  


_**Tell dad Baku ate my homework** _

  
  
  


**Bakubitch** : GET TF BACK HERE

**Bakubitch** : STOP RUNNING BITCH YOU'LL HIT YOUR ARM

**Hero brain rot** : STOP CHASING ME THEN 

**I lost my speed** : This is not what I expected to see when I checked the chat…

**Hero brain rot** : TENYA HEPL HE'S CHASIGN ME

**Bakubitch** : Glasses if you even attempt to try and talk me out of this I will personally turn your balls into hacky sacks

**I lost my speed** : I suddenly cannot see my screen

**I lost my speed** : I wonder where my glasses are

**Hero brain rot** : TENYA YOU BETRAYER

  
  


_**11:25pm** _

  
  


**I am God, hoe** : Did...did Midorya just die-

**Bakubitch** : Yes <3

**Hero brain rot** : I hate it here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know all the manga readers saw that panel...this boi has beautiful 4c hair and I WILL be exploiting that in the next chapter. Blasian Deku rights!!


	8. blasian deku rights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ngl i think this is the longest chapter?? I got carried away bUT GUESS WHO'S HERE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hate me for this lmAO just wait until All Might finally shows up 🧍♀️

_**First Year Court** _

_4:09am_

**Sunshine bastard** : UFCOFNO GUUUYYYSSS

_-Sunshine bastard has changed the chat name to “PANIC MODE”-_

**Sunshine bastard** : HELP I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO-

**Gucci** : Izu….what?

**Sunshine bastard** : NO TALK ONLY YELLIGN

**Sunshine shit** : IZUKU SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU’RE WAKING UP NATSU

**Sunshine bastard** : NO HE’S COMING BACK I CANNOT HANDLE

**Saltydino** : wtf is happening

**Sunshine shit** : I have literally no idea 

**He drinks his milk** : Who’s coming back

**Sunshine shit** : Wait…….

**Sunshine shit** : OH FUCK HE’S REALLY-

**Sunshine bastard** : YES HE MESSAGED ME I’M CRYING SO HARD RIGHT NOW

**Anxiety™** : Izu are you gonna be okay?

**Sunshine bastard** : No im shaking rn holy shit

**Gucci** : nooo :(

**Anxiety™** : Hinata open your door rn

**Sunshine shit** : Wha-

**Anxiety™** : Open This Door Hinata Shouyo

**Anxiety™** : I need to hug the baby

**Sunshine bastard** : Pls i would lov that :’(

**Gucci** : Cuddle pile at Hina and Izu’s house

**He drinks his milk** : Already omw with meat buns

  
  
  


_**8:24am** _

  
  


**Gucci** : Hinata pls tell your mom thank you again for breakfast

**Sunshine shit** : Of course!!

**Anxiety™** : I would stay longer but my mom doesn’t even know I left </3

**Gucci** : Yachi I’ll walk you home, yeah?

**Anxiety™** : Bless

**Sunshine shit** : Be careful!!

**Saltydino** : Holy shit you guys actually went 

**Gucci** : Duh

**He drinks his milk** : Who do you think we are Stingyshima? 

**Saltydino** : Shut

**Sunshine shit** : Smh Tsukki you didn’t even come visit Izu 

**Sunshine bastard** : I thought you loved me bae </3

**Saltydino** : No-

**Sunshine bastard** : Heart ❤ been 🤛🏾 broken 💔 so many 🧬 times ⏰ i 👁 don't 🙅🏾♀️ know 🧠 what 💯to 2️⃣believe 🤷🏾♀️yeah 👍🏾 mama 👩🏾 said 🗣 its my 😔 fault 😭 its my 👎🏾 fault 🥺I 👁wear🧍🏿♀️👈🏾heart ♥️ on my sleeve 🤳🏿 

**Saltydino** : Wha-

**Saltydino** : _What does that mean_

**Sunshine bastard** : Wait you don’t know that meme?? 

**Sunshine shit** : Izu,,, they’re japanese. Like full japanese,,,

**Sunshine bastard** : nooOOOO

**Sunshine bastard** : 

**Gucci** : HELPM KSDKJSDFBJKFLN

Sunshine bastard: I’m literally so distressed rn wow wtf

**Sunshine bastard** : I need to show you guys american memes!!!!!!

**Saltydino** : No thanks- 

**Sunshine bastard** : You have no choice :)

  
  


_**11:47am** _

  
  


**Sunshine shit** : Izu are you gonna be alright?

**Sunshine bastard** : Yeah yeah. Aunty is driving me there right now. 

**Gucci** : Good luck :(

**Saltydino** : Do I even need to ask….

**Sunshine shit** : Well _Tsukki_ if you had came over you would’ve known what’s going on

**Gucci** : Now you get to be the only one that doesn’t know

**He drinks his milk** : Sucks to suck

**Anxiety™** : Rip Tsukishima lmao

**Saltydino** : Hating it here

  
  


**_1:09pm_ **

  
  


**S** **unshine bastard** : _sent an image of himself and another person in a selfie. His arm is still in a sling but his bandages have been removed. He’s grinning widely at the camera while the other person (a man who looks like him, only with a darker complexion and black locs instead of green curls. The man is in the middle of grabbing his luggage with a small smile on his face_

**Sunshine bastard** : HE!!! HE IS HEREEE

**He drinks his milk** : Holy shit he does look like you

**Sunshine shit** : !!!!!!!

**Sunshine shit** : I wish i could’ve joined :(

**Saltydino** : We have practice idiot

**Sunshine shit** : Fuck practice i’m outta here babie

**Saltydino** : Hinata wha-

**Saltydino** : HINATA SHOUYO 

**Sunshine shit** : IM OUTTA HERE EAT MY DUST

  
  


_**Tell dad Baku ate my homework** _

  
  


**Hero brain rot** : _sends image_

**Hero brain rot** : **_@Bakubitch_ **LOOK LOOK LOOK

**Hero brain rot** : HE’S BACK

**Bakubitch** : Oh fuck

**The hardest boi** : Who’s that?

**Kermit’s bitch** : They look so familiar…

**Bakubitch** : That’s Deku’s dad dipshit

**Biggest brain** : 

**Hero brain rot** : HE’S MY DAD!!! HE’S FINALLY BACK WITH THE MILK

**Bakubitch** : I’m-

**Ceo of FT** : HAHAHAHA

**I’m calling God** : STOOOPPPP I HATE IT HERE

**Hero brain rot** : Finally I can eat my cereal 

**I’m calling God** : Giggles 

**I lost my speed** : Midoriya….that joke is kinda offensive…

**Gravity’s pimp** : Yeah! How was that funny…

**I’m calling God** : ….

**Ceo of FT** : ….

**Hero brain rot** : UM-

**Hero brain rot** : Lemme move my bang so I can read that chile,,,

**Bakubitch** : Deku pleAse stop saying that I hear it enough from Pinky

**I’m calling God** : You love me tho bae ;)

**Bakubitch** : shut up raccoon eyes

**Hero brain rot** : You being in my business on what I joke about... 

**Hero brain rot** : Stop that <3

**I lost my speed** : I was just saying

**I lost my speed** : If you make jokes like that around people..they’d take it the wrong way

**I lost my speed** : Especially since you’re becoming a hero!

**Hero brain rot** : Ummmm stfu me thinks

**Gravity’s pimp** : Midorya!! 

**Gravity’s pimp** : That’s so mean :( Iida was just trying to help

**Hero brain rot** : Help what exactly? There was literally no reason for him to say anything. Nor was there anything for y o u to say either

**Hero brain rot** : If you ain’t find it funny just keep ya mouth shut...that shit’s embarrasing 

**I’m calling God** : Damn Izu go off King 

**Hero brain rot** : I’m just spittin fax

**Biggest brain** : No printer

**I’m calling God** : Periodt

**Gravity’s pimp** : But still….

**I lost my speed** : Putting that to the side, you still shouldn’t make those jokes or um..speak that way if you aren’t..you know...

**Hero brain rot** : …….blinks

**I’m calling God** : DID HE JUST-

**The hardest boi** : yooooo wtf…

**Ceo of FT** : gotta go gotta go gotta go rn

**Biggest brain** : I’m-

**Kermit’s bitch** : Kerro...did I really just read that

**Gravity’s pimp** : I mean he’s not wrong? Deku doesn’t really have the right to speak like that...Ashido too if we’re being honest

**I’m calling God** : I KNOW YOU DIDN’T JUST SAY THAT

**Bakubitch** : Damn that’s crazy

**Hero brain rot** : …..You know what

**Hero brain rot** : Fuck these heroes man i’m done

**Hero brain rot** : HOW YOU GONNA SAY I CAN’T USE AAVE WHEN I’M LITERALLY BLACK HOW ARE YOU THAT IGNORANT

**Hero brain rot** : I LITERALLY JUST SENT A PHOTO OF MY DAD????

**I’m calling God** : Also how tf Uraraka gonna put my name in her mouth when we weren’t even talking about me in the first place

**I’m calling God** : For your mcfuckin information my mother and my father are black <3 

**Gravity’s pimp** : Then why are you pink,,,,

**I’m calling God** : UMM IT’S LITERALLY MY QUIRK BYE I’M ACTUALLY YELLING

**Hero brain rot** : The acid she produces causes her skin cells to turn pink. Just because of that small change doesn’t mean she ain’t got no melanin 

**I lost my speed** : So...Midoriya. Does that mean your quirk makes you darker then?

**Hero brain rot** : ……

**Hero brain rot** : Stop the mf music

**Hero brain rot** : Are you dumb? Is it crack that you smoke? 

**I’m calling god** : Mental illness luv….

**Hero brain rot** : I’m fucking quirkless dipshit

**Hero brain rot** : I have to actually leave this server wow goodbye

**Bakubitch** : UM 

**Bakubitch** : Deku you’re not leaving

**Hero brain rot** : Yes the fuck I am

**I’m calling God** : If Izuku leaves then so am I 

**Ceo of FT** : I might have to as well bro 

**Bakubitch** : Izaiah you’re not leaving again

**Hero brain rot** : YOOO WTF

**I lost my speed** : Who is that?

**I’m calling God** : WAIT AMERICAN NAME CHECK 

_-'I’m calling God' has changed their name to 'Ayisha'-_

**Hero brain rot** : WAIT BANGER NAME HOLY SHIT

_-'Hero brain rot' has changed their name to 'Izaiah'-_

**Ayisha** : YOOOOOOO

**Izaiah** : YOOOOOOO

**Bakubitch** : Fuck this was a mistake

**Izaiah** : You mean *great idea 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI YES BLACK REPRESENTATION IS WHAT I LIVE FORRRR anyways I lowkey made Iida and Ochako shitty friends just because idk I was just like..."what if they asked him if his quirk made him black" and i thought that shit was hilarious. Hope you enjoyed and get ready for more of Deku's dad <3


	9. Fuck ya chicken strips

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big bro Hawks has taken over my life so expect that. As you couldn't tell things look a little different! All will be explained in the end notes!

_**Tell dad Baku ate my homework** _

_**1:07pm** _

  
  


**Izaiah** : Breaking news Ai is the only woman ever sorry I don’t make the rules

**Ayisha** : As I should be

**Izaiah** : Queen status <3

**Ayisha** : <3

**Kermit’s bitch** : Um….

**Izaiah** : Oh Tsu bae you’re our frog queen no one can top you 

**Kermit’s bitch** : Kero :)

**Ayisha** : Beautiful amazing never been seen before one of a kind gorgeous 

**Izaiah** : My eyes have been blessed asf 

**Shaq’s wet dream** : We love to see it

**Izaiah** : SHOU BAE

**Izaiah** : Where you been king you missed out on a lot 

**Shaq’s wet dream** : Sorry I was hanging out with my brother

**Izaiah** : Which one?

**Shaq’s wet dream** : Yes

**Izaiah** : Understandable

**Ayisha** : wh

**I am God, hoe** : How the hell do you know what he means

**Izaiah** : Yes

**Ceo of FT** : Blinks

_**1:10pm** _

**Shaq’s wet dream** : I just scrolled up and-

**Shaq’s wet dream** : What in the fresh fuck was that

**Izaiah** : Literal bullshit but Ai and I completely popped off

**Ayisha** : As we should 😍

**Shaq’s wet dream** : That joke was banger what went on 

**Shaq’s wet dream** : I wish my dad would grab the milk 😺 and stay at the store😒✨

**Izaiah** : rt but my mom

**I lost my speed** : Todoroki! Not you too

**Izaiah** : Lmao y’all hear smthin

**Kermit’s bitch** : Nah 

**Shaq’s wet dream** : Imagine having dementia

_**-'I am God, Hoe' changed their name to 'Brain rot'-** _

**Brain rot** : Shakes head

Izaiah: I KNOW YOU AIN’T STOLE MY OLD USER

**Brain rot** : And what’re you gonna do about it?

**Izaiah** : Absolutely nothing please continue 

**Ayisha** : Is that….A simp??

**Shaq’s wet dream** : Red alert red alert we have a full fledge simp 

**Kermit’s bitch** : Book em boys

**Izaiah** : StoP IT I’M NOT A SIMP

**Brain rot** : Idk that seems like simp agenda

**Izaiah** : That’s it i’m going to Brazil

**Ayisha** : HELP WDWDJWD

**Izaiah** : I’m in Spain without the a

**Shaq’s wet dream** : …..wh….do you mean spin??

**Izaiah** : I meant s I-

**Kermit’s bitch** : Wow simping really fried yo brain huh

**Izaiah** : This is actually homophobia 

**Shaq’s wet dream** : And i’m completely homophobic 😷

**Izaiah** : Shut the fuck up bottom bitch

**Shaq’s wet dream** : I will spit on your grave

**Izaiah** : Not if I spit on yours first

**Ayisha** : Ladies ladies you’re both raging homosexuals stop twisting your panties 

**Izaiah** : Ummmm i’m a disaster bi thank u

**Shaq’s wet dream** : You got the disaster part right

**Izaiah** : WHY ARE YOU BEING SO HOMOPHOBIC RN

**Izaiah** : Literally die <3

**Gravity’s pimp** : Izu,,,threatening Todoroki isn’t okay..

**Gravity’s pimp** : Also assuming people’s sexualities is wrong!

**Shaq’s wet dream** : Actually she’s right lmao

**Shaq’s wet dream** : Sucking dick is an art form I have perfected to a T

**Ceo of FT** : SPITS

**Ayisha** : TODOBRO PLEASDE

**Bakubitch** : For the love of Aizawa please stop picking up Deku’s weird american slang I am going to have an aneurysm 

**Izaiah** : Shut the hell up old man go drink your prune juice and sleep at a normal resting time

**Shaq’s wet dream** : Ain’t Bakugou a baby?? Go sleep in crib mf 😴😴

**Ayisha** : Imagine having a bedtime in high school. Laughs out loud

**Ceo of FT** : Homeboy ain’t never seen the clock strike 1am 

**Biggest brain** : Quirk makes him a literal Boomer

**Izaiah** : KZONWDNJWWSL

**Ayisha** : SOBBING

**Izaiah** : PLEASE MY FUCKING C H E S T 

**Shaq’s wet dream** : Help d ok dlcd

**The hardest boi** : ,,,,,,,,,wh

**The hardest boi** : I leave for a bit to do my workout...and this is what I return to

**Izaiah** : Do it Kiri

**Ayisha** : Do it

**Biggest brain** : Do it

**Shaq’s wet dream** : Do it

**Ceo of FT** : Do it

**The hardest boi** : ……

**The hardest boi** : He's so emotionally constipated he eats taco bell to get the runs

**Izaiah** : SCREAMS

**Ayisha** : I have never been so proud of my son

**Ceo of FT** : Bakubro been real quiet since we dropped these hits

**Shaq’s wet dream** : Absolutely loving the energy 

**Kermit’s bitch** : I have no idea what you guys did but Bakugou just came through the front door with enough murderous intent to make Sensei nervous

**Izaiah** : That’s my que to leave <3

**Izaiah** : Enjoy dealing with that

**Ayisha** : wh

**Biggest brain** : HelP I SEE HIM HE RUNNINGTOWARDSMEINFJOBSLKNSD

**Brain rot** : Thank God he didn’t notice me with Tsu

  
  


**_PANIC MODE_ **

**_1:22pm_ **

  
  


**Sunshine bastard** : Hi my name is Izuku and I think I got away with Murder

**Gucci** : Huh-

**Sunshine shit** : Oh fuck not again

**SaltyDino** : AGAIN??

**Sunshine bastard** : Nah i’m just joshing you

**Sunshine shit** : I thought I was gonna have to call  _ him  _ again lmao

**Sunshine bastard** : Yjnwnuh please he’d kill me

**SaltyDino** : Who-

**Sunshine bastard** : No one bae <3

**SaltyDino** : Perish

**Sunshine bastard** : WHY IS EVERYONE SO HOMOPHOBIC TODAY WTF I’M DONE

**Sunshine shit** : Fjbswhmvesmw 

**Sunshine shi** t: Why did Izu go sit in the fucking corner udshvgd this mf ain’t a two year old

**Sunshine shit** : …….

**Sunshine shit** : Deserved ✨

**Sunshine bastard** : KEIGO WOULDN’T TREAT ME LIKE THIS    
  


**Sunshine bastard** : Running away no one hmu 😔👊

  
  
  


_**{Bone machine broke → Chiknem teindis}** _

  
  
  


**Bone machine broke** : Keigo :(

**Chiknem teindis** : Wh

**Chikenm teindis** : What 🧍

**Bone machine broke** : Can you take me to get nuggies 🥺

**Chiknem teindis** : What did you do now...

**Bone machine broke** : IS IT BULLY IZUKU DAY HCCCJSXZJXS

**Bone machine broke** : Fuck ya chicken strips </3

**Chiknem teindis** : _g a s p_ take that back rn

**Bone machine broke** : no <3

**Chiknem teindis** : Those are fighting words kid

**Bone machine broke** : Meet me in the pit mf

**Bone machine broke** : Wait actually can you pick me up i’m at aunties house

**Chiknem teindis** : Mistu?

**Bone machine broke** : No the other one

**Chiknem teindis** : Okay cool

**Bone machine broke** : Can we still get nuggies after 👉👈

**Chiknem teindis** : Um duhh who tf you think i am of course we’re getting nuggies

**Bone machine broke** : As we should

**Chiknem teindis** : Be there in ten 🏃

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...
> 
> I finally thought of a new name!! The fic's name is shorter and easier to remember now! I also edited the tags if you haven't seen already, and if you have then get ready for that! I'm excited to add more people to the fic to cause chaos. If you have any suggestions on who should make an appearance or what i should do in a chapter please don't hesitate to tell me! I love all your comments sm it really helps me with this uh...tough time I'm going through at the moment
> 
> (Side note I had no idea you could see what people said about your fic when they bookmark it?? Someone had made my whole w e e k when I read theirs and I love them sm)
> 
> Anyways...get ready for skeletor to show up next chap. As well as best dad Hisashi <3


	10. {Creative chapter title}

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All Might shows up! And Aizawa!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay look I said there's All Might bashing and I suck at insulting people but hhh there'll be more later This was one of my favorite chapters to write and I laughed as I imagined it happening. Enjoy!!

_**Tell dad Baku ate my homework** _

_**2:30pm** _

**Izaiah** : So….did y’all die or what

**Shaq’s wet dream** : _Wouldn’t you like to know weather boy_

**Izaiah** : Damn, sometimes I can still hear Shouto’s voice. Such a shame 

**Izaiah** : I miss him sm </3

**Shaq’s wet dream** : Choke

**Bakubitch** : If you were still at UA you’d be just as dead bitch 

**Izaiah** : Thank Aizawa i’m not 🤩

**Biggest brain** : Speaking of Aizawa and UA

**Biggest brain** : Are you really not coming back to class Midoriya?

**Izaiah** : 1. Please call me Izuku, Deku, Izaiah, literally anything except that. That’s not my name anymore

**Izaiah** : 2. It’s official that i’m fully transferred to Karasuno High and I will be starting class next week. I would’ve started earlier but bone machine broke once again

**Ceo of FT** : You can never catch a break huh?

**Izaiah** : It seems God has it out for me, but i’ll get his ass first

**Ayisha** : Iza out here finna fight God

**Shaq’s wet dream** : I thought you already fought Nedzu

**Ayisha** : WH

**Ceo of FT** : UM EXCUSE ME

**Bakubitch** : THE NERD DID WHAT??

**Izaiah** : looks away

**Brain rot** : Don’t look away bitch we’re interrogating you

**Izaiah** : Suddenly I can’t see

**Bakubitch** : Get some damn glasses Deku cause you ain’t running from this

**Izaiah** : If I can’t see it then it doesn’t exist

**Bakubitch** : Just like your fuckin height

**Izaiah** : SHUT UPPPPP

**Izaiah** : TALL ASS MF I HOPE YOU TRIP

**Brain rot** : Lmao Imagine being under 5’5

**Izaiah** : This is a fucking hate crime

**Ayisha** : Don’t worry bae i’m right here with you 

**Izaiah** : 😞✋💔

**Izaiah** : Keigo wouldn’t treat me like this

**Izaiah** : ...YES HE WOULD HE DID YESTERDAY FUCK

**Bakubitch** : Who the fuck is Keigo

**Brain rot** : Who the fuck is Keigo

**Ceo of FT** : Not them sending that at the same exact time

**Izaiah** : He’s my drug dealer

**I lost my speed** : Need I remind you all we’re in _All Might’s_ class! You all need to pay attention! It’s extremely disrespectful to ignore such an amazing pro hero, and our teacher at that

**I lost my speed** : WAIT WHAT IS THIS ABOUT DRUGS?????

**Izaiah** : Hi i’m Izuku and I suck dick for weed

**BRAIN ROT** : PLEASE STOP THE CAPPP

**Ayisha** : PERIODTTT 😫😫😫

**Ayisha** : DO WHAT YOU GOTTA DO SIS

**Bakubitch** : MINA DON’T FUCKING ENCOURAGE HIM 

**Izaiah** : Ai always has my back

**Izaiah** : Friendships ended only Shou and Ai are my friends

**Shaq’s wet dream** : 😏✨

**I lost my speed** : WE! ARE! IN! CLASS!

**I lost my speed** : I can literally see Aizawa glaring at you _put your phones away_

**Izaiah** : Fuck that big body saggy titty no nipple having pussy bitch

**Izaiah** : And Aizawa too ig he’s kind of a dick 🙄

**Izaiah** : But Mr. skin tone meaty bone you need to leave me the fuck alone can fuck right the fuck off or there will be

**Izaiah** : _✨Problems✨_

**Bakubitch** : JFVLD I’M DONE I’M WALKING OUT

**Biggest brain** : OHHHH HE SAID HE AIN’T HAD NO NIPPLEESSS

**Ayisha** : KATSU STOP WALKING OUT OF THE DOOR DJLFFJ D NC

**Shaq’s wet dream** : I’m crying so hard Yaomomo looks so concerned but i’m just trying not to fall over

**Shaq's wet** **dream** : I'm literally shaking 

**Brain rot** : Kirishima looked at me with so much shock while Kaminari and Sero hit the deck and I had to check the chat

**Brain rot** : I’m so glad I did holy shit

**The hardest boi** : Aizawa is going to actually kill us 

**Gravity’s pimp** : Guys why did Bakugou leave and why is Aizawa look ready to murder

**Izaiah** : I hope his dick falls off and he can’t reattach it

**Izaiah** : I hope he steps in a puddle with only his socks on

**Izaiah** : Next time he eats his food I hope that shit is cold and bland

**Izaiah** : Next time he goes on patrol I hope he gets kicked in his fucking nuts

**Ayisha** : I CAN HEAR KATSUKI SCREAMING IN TH E HALL

**The hardest boi** : All Might and Aizawa look so confused as does the rest of the class

**Brain rot** : Todoroki are you good??

**Shaq’s wet dream** : No im not fukkin okay i hav to go-

**Ayisha** : Another one bites the dust 😔✊

**Gravity’s pimp** : Deku!! That’s so disrespectful holy shit

**Izaiah** : I hope he runs out of toilet paper next time he has to take a shit

**Ayisha** : NDSLJNDFKLD BYE I’M WALKING OUT

**I lost my speed** : You three weren’t even dismissed to leave! 

**Brain rot** : Shiii i’m outta here too

**Bakubitch** : Grab the three musketeers as well

**Gravity’s pimp** : !!!

**I lost my speed** : You know i’ll have to tell All Might and Aizawa about this

**Izaiah** : Shut yo bubble gum dum dum lookin ass tf up

**Gravity’s pimp** : Deku I think you’ve been hanging out with Ashido and Bakugou a little too much…

**Izaiah** : And I think you’ve been licking All Mights nut sack a lil too much and yet I haven’t said not one word to you

**I lost my speed** : MIDORIYA

**Izaiah** : Who

**I lost my speed** : THAT’S SO INAPPROPRIATE AND UNNECESSARILY RUDE! YOU SHOULD APOLOGISE TO OCHAKO RIGHT NOW

**Izaiah** : Make me

**Izaiah** : What’re gonna do? Tell your precious number one hero? Tattle on me to your homeroom teacher or the principal? Piss off cunt

**Ayisha** : Damnnnnnn

**Kermit’s bitch** : One of the only times i’m not lurking is when Izu goes off Wtf

_**3:07pm** _

**Kermit’s bitch** : So which one of you is gonna tell Sensei those guys ditched **_@I lost my speed @Gravity’s pimp_ **

**I lost my speed** : What?? I thought they only left the class room?

**Kermit’s bitch** : _fuckwatdateachersaid.screenshot_

_A screenshot of Bakugou, Shinsou, Kaminari, Ashido, Kirishima, Sero, and Todorok in an instagram post. Todoroki and Bakugou are crouched in front of everyone, flipping off the camera. The other 4 are posed together behind them and smirking at the camera in front of the school gates. Shinsou seems to be the one who took the photo. You can even see Aizawa’s faint outline in one of the windows._

**Gravity’s pimp** : I-

**I lost my speed** : Tsuyu you need to show that to Aizawa immediately! 

**_-Kermit’s bitch has deleted one(1) image-_ **

**Kermit’s bitch** : I don’t have to do anything. Y’all are on your own

**Gravity’s pimp** : But-

**Gravity’s pimp** : Are you seriously taking their side? After they laughed about what Deku said about All Might! It’s _All Might_

**Kermit’s bitch** : If you haven’t noticed, i’ve been sick in bed all day. And even if I was at school I wasn’t going to rat them out. 

**Kermit’s bitch** : If anything i’d join them

**Izaiah** : Awww Tsu bae 

**Izaiah** : I’m telling Keigo to bring you soup <3 gimme your address bae

**Kermit’s bitch** : Kero :)

  
  


_**PANIC MODE** _

_**3:24pm** _

**Sunshine shit** : Izuku why are there seven people at my front door

**Sunshine bastard** : What-

**Sunshine bastard** : WSIJIDWIJSMK WTF WHY ARE THEY HERE

**Gucci** : ???

**Saltydino** : I have decided to not ask 

**Anxiety™** : Wait Izu who was at the door

**Sunshine bastard** : _thebastardsofUA.image_

_Izuku’s hand is seen flipping off Bakugou and Todoroki as Ashido and Kaminari wave at the camera with wide grins from behind a couch. Bakugou is rolling his eyes with his arms crossed and Todoroki is flipping the bird right back with a straight face. Kirishima is smiling awkwardly next to Sero, who’s smirking and throwing up a peace sign. Shinsou is raising an eyebrow with an amused smile, looking towards Izu behind the camera as he sits on the couch. This was taken in Hinata's living room._

**Sunshine bastard** : Party at our place 😎

**He drinks his milk** : Are we...invited?

**Sunshine bastard** : Of course??? Why would I leave you out??

**He drinks his milk** : I don’t know,,,

**He drink his milk** : I’ve never been to a party before, much less invited to one

**He drinks his milk** : Well unless you don’t count like a few birthday parties for my cousin,,,

**Sunshine bastard** : UM WHAT

_**‘Sunshine bastard’ has changed ‘He drinks his milk’s’ name to ‘Milk baby🥺”** _

**Sunshine bastard** : Baby i’m coming to get you and your getting a kissth wtf

**Sunshine bastard** : Sweet summer child

**Milk baby🥺** : I was born in December….

**S** **unshine bastard** : 

**Sunshine shit** : Izu just dipped wtf

**Saltydino** : Apparently he just invited us to your place

**Saltydino** : And he’s off to collect the King

**Sunshine shit** : So that’s why he made me order all this damn food

**Sunshine shit** : Hurry up then or i’m eating most of it

**Saltydino** : You fucking wouldn’t

**Sunshine shit** : Try me <3

  
  
  
  
  


_**{All Might → Eraserhead}** _

  
  


**All Might** : Aizawa! Do you have a moment? 

**Eraserhead** : No

**All Might** : But, last I checked you were taking a nap?

**Eraserhead** : And you’ve interrupted it 

**Eraserhead** : Whatever you need to say can wait for later. I’d _like_ to return to the sleep you’ve rudely taken away from me 

**All Might** : It’s about your students

**Eraserhead** : ….I’m listening

**All Might** : Young Iida has just informed me about the cause of the disruption that occurred in the classroom today

**All Might** : And he suspects that your students are currently missing from the campus

**Eraserhead** : Well then. Spill it. What happened

**All Might** : Iida said that a group chat of theirs had been the cause of it. 

**Eraserhead** : Group Chat?

**All Might** : Yes. Young Bakugou, Kirishima, Sero, Kaminari, Ashido, and Iida are in it

All Might: As well as Young Ochako, Asui, Todoroki, Shinsou, and……

**All Might** : Midoriya…

Eraserhead: Is that all?

**All Might** : Yes

**Eraserhead** : I would expect this from some of them, but Todoroki and Hitoshi? 

**Eraserhead** : And of course the Problem child is in on this too

**Eraserhead** : Send them all my way

**All Might** : Well you see….they left

**Eraserhead** : They fucking _what_

**All Might** : All of them except for Ochako and Iida have left the campus

**Eraserhead** : And no one thought to tell me sooner? For fucks sake

**All** **Might** : Well you were sleeping

**All Might** : Plus it seems to be Midoriya’s fault….he’s a bad influence

**Eraserhead** : Okay wait

**Eraserhead** : Midoriya may be reckless but he’s nowhere near a bad influence. He hasn’t even been in class for the last week or so

**All Might** : Good. I didn’t even notice he was gone

**Eraserhead** : What do you mean good?

**All Might** : He didn’t need to be in the hero course. He was quirkless. He was just gonna get himself killed out there

**All Might** : Everyone knows you have to have a strong quirk to be a hero! There was no way he was going to get anywhere. He was...pretty useless if I had to be honest with you Aizawa

**Eraserhead** : …

**Eraserhead** : You’re an asshole, you know that?

**All Might** : What?

**Eraserhead** : I have to go find the students, we’ll finish this conversation later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooooh Dadzawa is on the hunt. Tobio is my baby and he deserves all the kisses.
> 
> Let me know if anyone else should join! Next chap has Hisashi and more Aizawa, as well as more Karasuno appearances!!
> 
> (Also holy shit it's only been three days since I last updated. This is the quickest i've been in a while wowowow)


	11. And no, im not dead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should let you know im extremely tired and it's damn near 3am 😔✋🏾

So i found out how to do those social media things and like fake texts! I'm probably gonna implement them in, so get ready for that. Uhhh maybe give me ideas for twitter or insta bios for everyone and yeah that's all thank you for your time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhh yeah that's all now im ginna sleep for 12 hours


	12. Party rockers in the hou-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey 😏💕 i'm back with an update, hope y'all missed me <3

_**Panic mode** _

**_3:38pm_ **

**Sunshine shit** : Izu hurry up your friends are interrogating me

**Sunshine bastard** : Okay and?

**Sunshine shit** : PLEASE MF THEY THINK I’M YOU

**Sunshine bastard** : You are. You’re just orange

**Sunshine shit** : God i’m coming up

**Milk baby🥺** : He was trying to carry me back to your place

**Milk baby🥺** : I’m way taller than him so it looked so weird

**Sunshine bastard** : Shut up or I won’t hug you anymore

**Milk baby🥺** : My parents are giving us a ride we should be there in 5

**Sunshine bastard** : I’m not kissthing you anymore wtf🙄

**Sunshine bastard** : Betrayal

Milk baby🥺: No wait ily

**Sunshine bastard** : I-

**Sunshine bastard** : Really?

**Milk baby🥺** : Yeah 

**Sunshine bastard** : 

**Sunshine** **bastard** : ily sm i would die for you

**Sunshine bastard** : You are my son my baby I will take care of you 

**Sunshine shit** : JNSOKSNSDCJN

**Sunshine shit** : Not Izuku adopting Kageyama

**Gucci** : Bae what about me🥺

**Sunshine bastard** : My platonic husband duh

**Gucci** : <3

**Sunshine bastard** : <3

**Saltydino** : Absolutely disgusting

**Sunshine bastard** : Stfu Tsukki you’re just mad you can’t get your dick wet

**Gucci** : ONDSCKSDNWDKDJD

**Sunshine shit** : GOD I’M COMING UP 

**Saltydino** : Slander

**Sunshine bastard** : Rolls eyes

**Sunshine bastard** : Are my kids behaving?

**Sunshine shit** : Yes. Katsu is keeping them in line. 

**Sunshine shit** : Hold on, someone’s at the door

  
  


_**3:42** _

**Sunshine shit** : Izuku why was there a pro hero at my door and why is he glaring at me

**Sunshine bastard** : wh

**Sunshine bastard** : what does he look like?

**Sunshine shit** : Tall, scary lookin. He looks like he needs some foreverquil ngl this man needs some fucking sleep. OH! And he has a lil scar under his eye

**Sunshine bastard** : HOLY FUCK THAT’S AIZAWA SENSEI

**Sunshine shit** : He just came in and started yelling 😬

**Sunshine bastard** : TOBIO AND I ARE RUNNING TO THE DOOR FEVJFDJVNKF

  
-_________  
  
  


Izuku slams open the front door, eyes wide as he catches his homeroom teacher (his old homeroom teacher. He’s not becoming a hero anymore) yelling at his friends. All of the heroes-in-training were quietly sitting on the couch looking nowhere near guilty while Aizawa scolds them. He can see Tsukishima looking away trying not to laugh. Yamaguci looks so awkward, Yachi is panicking and Hinata is trying to make Tsukki stop laughing. Everyone’s heads whip towards him (them. Tobio is there too) as he stands in the doorway. Kageyama leans over his shoulder, raising his eyebrow. “Uh...Is this what parties are like?”

Any tension that was building drops. Izuku sighs and pats Kageyama’s shoulder. “Oh my god. Never change Tobi.” “Why would I do that?”

“IZUUUUUU!!!!”

That’s the only warning he gets before a flash of pink tackles him to the ground. He lets out a very accurate roblox ‘OOF’ as he hits the deck. “IZA I MISSED YOU SO MUCH HOW COULD YOU JUST LEAVE ME YOU BITCH I’LL CUT OUT YOUR KNEES!!” Ashido sobs as she squeezes Izuku in a hug. It takes him a second before he hugs back, already tearing up. 

Damn, now is not the time to be a crybaby.

“W-What are you guys doing here? You’re supposed to be-” “We came to visit you stupid! I haven’t seen you in so long and you only let Katsuki see you? That’s fucked up. Apologise for your crimes!”

“.......Did you just call him Katsuki?” 

Bakugo shoots up from his spot on the couch while people start to laugh. “How was that the only thing you got from that?! The fuck?!”

It takes a minute for everyone to calm down. Ashido and Izuku get off the floor and sit on the couch, joined by everyone else still standing (aside from Aizawa). Izuku is still wondering why the man is here. Other than maybe to grab his friends and drag them by the ears back to the school where they belong. Said man ends up voicing his thoughts to him, and gets a scolding himself. How the hell was he supposed to know they were coming? How did Aizawa even know-

Oh right….Iida…

“What a fucking snitch” Izuku grumbles. Shinsou overhears him and has to choke back a laugh.

Todoroki has to explain that Izuku had no way of knowing they were gonna show up, as it was something they had discussed when they were in the hallway.

“No one has told me exactly why you ended up in the hall. You just up and left. I wanted to expel you all right then and there but I was too confused as to why my students decided to leave during a lecture.”

All of the UA students turn to Izuku, who has the audacity to look sheepish. “I um..I may have called All Might a ‘big body, saggy titty,’ um….I called him a lot of stuff.” Hinata whispers into his ear and Izuku hands his almost twin his phone. Within a few seconds you can see his shoulders start shaking with barely concealed laughter as he shows his teammates. 

"A fucking what?”

“Nothing Aizawa-sensei…”

  
  
-______

_**Panic mode** _

_**11:50pm** _

**Sunshine bastard** : Okay,,,since everyone has officially met, what if i made a big server for all of us,, with channels and stuff 👉👈

**Gucci** : :FAST EYES: 

**Saltydino** : As long as i’m not directly involved I don’t care 

**Sunshine bastard** : Okay edgelord calm ur tatas

**Saltydino** : Wh

**Sunshine bastard** : Lemme go ask the others

  
  


_**Tell dad Baku ate my homework** _

_**12:13am** _

**Izaiah** : Hey homos what do y’all think about a big server

**Bakubitch** : Are you calling me gay??

**Izaiah** : Duh

**Izaiah** : What are you? A hetero?

**Bakubitch** : ,,,,,

**Izaiah** : WH

**Izaiah** : HOLY SHIT KACCHAN’S A HET

**Shaq’s wet dream** : I can hear the chainsmokers playing from here

**Brain rot** : This is the het police put your hands in the air

**Kermit’s bitch** : It’s the way you’re all up past midnight

**Kermit’s bitch** : Wait Bakugou’s straight??? 

**Bakubitch** : I’M NOT FUCKING STRAIGHT

**Izaiah** : SO BABY PULL ME CLOSER 

**Izaiah** : FINISH THE LYRICS KACCHAN DON’T BE SHY

**Bakubitch** : I’M LITERALLY BI DEKU YOU KNOW THIS YOU COCK MUNCHER

**Izaiah** : CISHET KACCHAN CISHET KACCHAN

**Shaq’s wet dream** : Cishet Kacchan

**Kermit’s bitch** : Cishet Kacchan

**Brain rot** : Cishet Kacchan

**Bakubitch** : I’m taking away your rights and curb stomping you whores

**Ayisha** : Um it’s late i-

**Ayisha** : Omg Katsuki cishet

**Ayisha** : Get well soon baby <3

**Izaiah** : Squints,,,,,

**Ayisha** : ,,,,looks away

**Izaiah** : DON'T LOOK AWAY

**Izaiah** : AI IS CISHET

**Ayisha** : WHAT

**Izaiah** : YOU TWO THOUGHT YOU COULD GET THE DROP IN ME 

**Shaq’s wet dream** : Time to pull out the clown shoes

**Izaiah** : SO WHEN WERE YOU GONNA TELL ME KACCHAN

**Bakubitch** : SAY IM NOT CIS

**Izaiah** : You have a girlfriend you fucking hetero scum

**Kermit’s bitch** : blinks and ribbits

**Ayisha** : i was not expecting to get exposed like this. Complete Ashidophobia 

**Izaiah** : Yes i’m Ashidophobic as well as Kacchanphobic

**Izaiah** : I am coming out 😔✋

**Bakubitch** : I hate this fucking family

**Ayisha** : ????

**Bakubitch** : ,,,,,you’re excluded ig 

**Ayisha** : Bye i’m not holding your sweaty hands anymore

**Bakubitch** : Fuck shit wait-

**Izaiah** : SIMP

**Shaq’s wet dream** : SIMP

**Kermit’s bitch** : SIMP

**Brain rot** : SIMP

**Ayisha** : SIMP

**Bakubitch** : FUCK YOU IM GOINH TO SLEEP

**Izaiah** : Wait before you go are we doing the big gc or not 👉👈

**Bakubitch** : …...yeah sure

**Izaiah** : BET THANK YOU SIMP

**Bakubitch** : You’re next :)

**Izaiah** : fear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise!! The first relationship is revealed! Originally they weren't gonna be together but they grew on me so....yeah. Let me know if you have any guesses on who's going to be exposed next! Hope you enjoyed <3
> 
> (I'll update the tags with the relationship with the next chapter I post. So if I suddenly decide to pair someone else up a few chapters later I wont update the tags until the chapter after that. Idk why but my brain said do it that way)

**Author's Note:**

> Chat with me I would like to be friends! Add me on things!!  
> Tumblr: demigodsouleater  
> Twitter: enbykyan  
> Discord: 🌟Chaotic Best🌟#4087
> 
> And yeah I lov u guys (O ᵕ O)


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